I become nervous about things that shouldn't even be scary, and when panicked my brain turns into pink raspberry Jell-O.

The letter E is a raging narcissist, always tagging along even when he is clearly unnecessary.

My right foot wiggles when I'm tense or excited. Occasionally I reach a high enough velocity for my body to vibrate.

I was suspended for 2 days in the 5th grade due to extraordinarily offensive comics I had drawn regarding my teacher's questionable gender and poor dental hygiene.

I've always wanted a pet Rapidash. It's so much better than a regular horse

I vow that I will work as hard as possible to become a famous political pundit so that I can one day appear on the "No Spin Zone" with Bill O'Reilly and forcefully kick him in his evil, jiggly, blatantly partisan, neoconservative jowls.

I have a ton of freckles. A few in strange places.

When I was in the 2nd grade I wrote a paper for Show-and-Tell about Bill Clinton.